


Ugly Sweaters

by OptimisticBeth



Series: Holiday Collection [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Chatting & Messaging, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, F/M, Fluff, Office Romance, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticBeth/pseuds/OptimisticBeth
Summary: Ben Solo works in the cubicle across from Rey Niima, who is far more excited about Christmas than any reasonable adult should be. When Rey comes down with the flu two weeks before Christmas, Ben is inspired to do something nice for her.Or several somethings.





	Ugly Sweaters

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the illness that rampaged through my house, finally hitting me on Christmas Eve when we were about to get the presents set up for the kids.

* * *

_Tuesday & Wednesday_

* * *

“Where’s Niima?”

Poe Dameron added a line to the email he was typing without looking up. “Why do you care?”

Ben shrugged, uncomfortable. “I don’t. I just noticed there’s a shortage of obnoxious baked goods in the break room.”

Dameron did look up, then. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘festive.’”

Ben looked down his long nose. “Obnoxious.” Every year, Rey Niima brought in Christmas treats for the office. Muffins, candy canes, and painstakingly decorated cookies shaped like Santa. Every year, Ben gave her shit for it while sneaking muffins into his desk.

He couldn’t help it. Niima was a _fantastic_ baker. And at least the damn things weren’t shaped like reindeer.

Not that he’d ever admit out loud that he liked her baking.

“She has the flu,” Dameron said with a grimace. “No cookies this year.”

Ben blinked, then nodded and returned to his own desk, where he just sat and stared at his screensaver.

Niima was sick.

Niima was never sick.

She was the Energizer Bunny of annoyingly cheerful coworkers. She smiled too much and laughed too loud and shone just a little too bright, interrupting Ben’s otherwise calm life.

But she was never sick.

She had to have the plague or something.

He opened Slack and started to send her a message, but he stopped with his fingers over the keyboard.

What did he think he was going to say? _Hey, I’ve been giving you a hard time for the past three years, but I hope you’re not dying_?

He closed Slack, feeling incredibly stupid, and drummed his fingers on the edge of his desk.

There was no reason to worry about her. She was a grown woman, and he didn’t even _like_ her. The office would be a lot more efficient without her around. He’d be able to focus.

Except that he couldn’t.

When lunchtime rolled around, Ben shoved irritably back from his desk, heading toward the break room only to find that the lack of Niima’s stupid, cheerful cookies soured his mood even further.

 _It’s the muffins,_ he told himself as he scowled his way past the small crowd gathered around the snack area. _I was looking forward to them._

But as he poured and prepped his coffee, he heard Tico talking to the coworkers who hung around Niima's desk the most. Her friends.

“She was up half the night. I left her on the couch this morning with a water bottle, some crackers, and a trash can. Poor thing just can’t keep anything down.”

“God,” said Connix with a delicate shudder. “Poor Rey. I got the flu a few years ago and got so dehydrated that I had to go to the hospital.”

Dameron nodded. “You should make sure she’s hydrating. Dehydration can get really nasty.”

A glance showed that Tico wore a worried frown. “Maybe I should go home and check on her.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Yeah,” Connix agreed instantly. “Tell her we all miss her and hope she feels better.”

“Well, not all,” Dameron muttered with a glance Ben’s way.

Ben pretended to be too absorbed in his coffee prep to notice.

“Poe,” Dameron’s best friend scolded. Storm was a tall dark-skinned guy and particular friends with Niima. Ben used to think Storm and Niima were a couple, but it had been over a year since he’d figured out that they had never dated.

Well, since Niima had snapped at him that Storm was _not_ her boyfriend and that her love life wasn’t any of Ben’s business anyway.

He grabbed his lunch out of the office fridge, determined not to think about the missing girl, but the others in the room were still talking about her as they got their own lunches and settled at a table. Tico was on her phone, probably texting Niima. Connix lamented the lack of cookies, and Dameron suggested that they could ask Niima to make them when she felt better, which seemed incredibly insensitive to Ben. She’d probably feel like shit for the rest of the week and didn’t need greedy assholes making demands on her time and energy just so they could have sweets.

Irritated, he took his brown paper bag and coffee back to his desk.

Except Niima’s desk sat across the aisle from his, empty and silent with her little potted succulent and silk daisies tied to the tops of her pens in case they went walkabout, and the stupid tiny Christmas tree she’d decorated with even tinier ornaments and hand-strung popcorn, and the poster of a rainbow pinned to the wall beside a bunch of photos of her with her friends, and he couldn’t help wondering if Tico had decided to go home to check on Niima and if she was okay.

He turned to his desk and spent the rest of lunch playing on his phone as he ate, willing himself not to look back at Niima's space.

The rest of the day was equally unproductive, so Ben decided to skip out early. Without thinking too much about it, he swung by the supermarket and picked up a few cans of chicken soup. He wasn’t entirely sure why. It wasn’t like he had Niima’s address or anything. But the next morning, he went into work early and set the bag of soup on Tico’s desk, then went to the coffee shop across the street for a French Roast and blueberry scone.

Speculation flew across the office all morning, invading Dameron’s cubicle next to Ben’s. Tico and Storm were in there, their chatter distracting, when he heard Dameron say, “I bet Solo did it.” Ben’s head snapped up as Dameron chuckled. “Can you imagine? That bastard with a secret crush on Rey?”

“Nah, they hate each other,” said Storm _sotto voce_. “No way it was Solo. Pigs would fly first.”

Tico agreed, and Ben faced his computer feeling oddly unsettled.

He didn’t _hate_ Niima. He just didn’t like that much cheer so early in the morning. And she was annoyingly obsessed with holidays. And her smile was way too white, practically blinding, and she flashed it at _everyone_.

Even him.

Even when he didn’t do anything to deserve it.

 

* * *

_Thursday_

* * *

The next day, Ben had a message waiting for him on Slack.

 **Rey Niima:** Thank you.

Ben hesitated, staring at the words, and took a fortifying sip of coffee.

 **Benjamin Solo:** For what?

 **Rey Niima:** The soup.

 **Benjamin Solo:** What soup?

 **Rey Niima:** Cut the clueless act, Solo. You’re the only person I can think of who would go out of their way to NOT take credit for this.

 **Rey Niima:** Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. ;)

He didn’t respond, unwilling to confirm anything, but he kept returning to the messages throughout the day, reading over them.

Before he went home that evening, he read them one more time. He licked his lips, nerves rendering them dry, and pulled his keyboard toward him before he could second-guess himself.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Glad you’re not dead.

 

* * *

_Friday_

* * *

The next morning, he had several more messages waiting for him.

 **Rey Niima:** You DO care! :) :) :)

 **Rey Niima:** Turns out being sick is boring. How’s work?

 **Rey Niima:** I’m eating the soup, btw. Thanks again.

Ben scooted his chair in and set his coffee down. He'd brought a travel mug from home.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I take it you’re able to keep things down now?

Her response came as he was checking his work email.

 **Rey Niima:** Yep! Not, like, pizza or anything, but crackers and soup and water and stuff.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I hope you feel better soon.

 **Rey Niima:** Really?

 **Benjamin Solo:** Yes, really. Why does everyone think I’m a heartless bastard?

 **Rey Niima:** Because you want them to.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I just hate disruptions while I’m trying to concentrate.

 **Rey Niima:** And Santa cookies. Don’t forget how much you hate Santa cookies.

 **Rey Niima:** And pumpkin spice anything.

 **Rey Niima:** And Christmas cheer.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Christmas is fine, but some people go overboard.

 **Rey Niima:** “Some people.” ;)

 **Benjamin Solo:** You’re not the only one. Connix has been trying to organize an ugly Christmas sweater party.

 **Rey Niima:** Rose told me! God, I hope I’m back for that. I think it’s on Tuesday. I already have it narrowed down to two sweaters.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Of COURSE you would own more than one ugly Christmas sweater. Why am I not surprised?

 **Rey Niima:** Because nothing surprises you. :)

 **Benjamin Solo:** I do know all.

 **Rey Niima:** My crystal ball says you’re probably itching to get back to work, so I’ll let you go. ;) I need another nap, anyway. This thing has drained me.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Get some rest, Niima.

 **Rey Niima:** Thanks, Ben. :)

He watched her log off and sighed. He didn’t think he’d be able to concentrate any better today than he had yesterday.

* * *

She messaged again after lunch.

 **Rey Niima:** I hate that I can’t make my Santa cookies this year.

 **Benjamin Solo:** You still can. Nobody will mind.

 **Rey Niima:** I can’t bring them after Christmas!

 **Benjamin Solo:** Why not?

 **Rey Niima:** It doesn’t feel the same. It'd be like hunting for Easter eggs in June.

 **Rey Niima:** It has to be before Christmas.

 **Benjamin Solo:** If you like making them, you can bring them whenever you want. You can bring them in June. Or July. It doesn’t matter.

 **Rey Niima:** Before Christmas or not at all.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I guess you’ll have to wait until next year, then.

 **Benjamin Solo:** It won’t kill anyone to go easy on the calories, either.

 **Rey Niima:** I just like to see everyone’s smiles, you know? Make the office a little cheerier.

 **Benjamin Solo:** They’ll smile when you come back. Just concentrate on getting better.

 **Rey Niima:** Yeah. I guess.

Her reply troubled him, nagging at his subconscious as he slogged through reports. He found himself looking up Santa cookies on his phone while he waited for Storm to send him an updated client spreadsheet.

Right before the end of the work day, he saw Niima log on and had to force himself not to message her.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to restrain himself long.

 **Rey Niima:** What do you usually do for Christmas?

 **Benjamin Solo:** My mom has the family over on Christmas Eve, and we all stay the night. Mostly because we drink too much to drive home.

 **Rey Niima:** That sounds really nice. :)

 **Benjamin Solo:** Sounds, yes. The reality is that we tend to dredge up old arguments and rehash them, and we all go to bed mad.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I honestly don’t know why my mom keeps trying.

 **Rey Niima:** Maybe because family matters to her? :/

 **Benjamin Solo:** Yeah. Probably.

* * *

It was after work on Friday, in his car where no one could hear him.

“Do you still know how to bake?”

Ben's mom didn’t answer for a moment, and he thought maybe he’d pissed her off. But then she said, drawing the word out as if she suspected a trick, “Yes?”

“I’m sending you a recipe. Can you make these?”

Another pause as she went to her computer to check her email. “Yeah, I guess so. We’d need a Santa-shaped cookie cutter.” Silence and the sound of a mouse clicking. “Why do you suddenly want to make Santa cookies?”

He shrugged even though she couldn’t see him. “No reason. So, can you do it?”

“If you help,” she said firmly. “If I’m doing this for you, you’re going to come over and spend some time with your mother.”

Ben hesitated, then thought about how sad Niima had sounded about her stupid cookies. “Fine.”

 

* * *

_Saturday_

* * *

When Ben arrived at his mother’s house the next day, he had a Santa cookie cutter and a six-pack of beer.

There was no way he was getting through this sober.

“You’re measuring,” his mother said without preamble when he joined her in the kitchen. His dad entered to greet him and grab one of the beers, then disappeared before he could be roped into helping.

Ben grabbed the spare apron and tied it on. It was the one his dad used while grilling, which meant it wasn’t floral like his mother’s.

“So, why the sudden interest in baking?” she asked as they worked side-by-side.

Ben had prepared his answer as he searched stores for the idiotic cookie cutter. “The coworker who usually makes these for the office Christmas party got sick. I was forced to take over.”

“Why not just buy them?’

Because he wanted this to mean something. He didn’t meet his mother’s eye when he muttered, “They’re picky.”

His mom laughed. “Why would that stop you?”

Ben shrugged and endured the suddenly uncomfortable intensity of his mom’s stare.

“Huh,” she said as if she’d realized something interesting.

Ben scowled and added baking soda to the dry ingredients.

It wasn’t until the cookies were in the oven and they were prepping the icing in piping bags that his mother asked, “What’s her name?”

Ben looked up from the bag of red icing, alarm settling in his chest. “What?”

His mother smirked. “Honey, you’ve never shown an interest in baking and suddenly you’re over here making cookies from scratch ‘for a work party.’ I’m not buying it. So. What’s her name?”

Ben set his piping bag down and grabbed a beer, trying desperately to come up with something to deflect this line of questioning.

By the time he turned back around, he still had nothing.

“Rey,” he said, sighing heavily. His mom’s brows went up, so he added, “With an E.”

Her brows returned to their normal position, and she nodded and glanced at his beer. “Grab me one of those.”

Relieved that he didn’t have to face more awkward questions, he got a beer for his mother.

They finished the icing in silence, but he could tell she was still thinking, and that was never good. Sure enough, when they sat down to wait for the cookies to finish baking, she took a sip of her beer and looked at him. “So what’s the real story with the cookies?”

He looked away. “Rey makes these stupid cookies every year, but she has the flu. She mentioned on Slack — the messaging program we use for work — that she was upset she couldn’t make them before Christmas.”

His mom nodded. “So you volunteered.”

“No.” He shook his head, eager to disabuse his mother of whatever idea had worked itself into her brain.

Her eyes lit up. “She doesn’t _know_ you’re making them.” When Ben only scowled at the piping bags, she laughed. “Are you going to tell her?”

“No,” he grumbled, wishing he could leave.

“So you’re doing something you hate for a girl you like, but you’re not going to tell her it was you.”

His scowl deepened.

His mother sat back and sipped her beer, observing him thoughtfully. “That’s really sweet of you.”

Startled, he looked up. There was no mocking in his mom’s eyes, just a soft smile and traces of… pride?

“You should tell her, though,” she added softly. “She deserves to know.”

He took a swig of his beer and looked away. “She’s just a coworker.”

“Not if you keep doing things like this for her,” his mother said, jerking her head at the oven.

He fiddled with his beer. “It’s a one-time thing.”

“It shouldn’t be. Not if you like her.”

Ben didn’t answer, and his mom seemed content to leave it at that, not being pushy for once. But she kept throwing him pleased smiles.

 

* * *

_Monday_

* * *

The buzz around the office had to do with the appearance of Santa cookies in the break room.

“I swear, it wasn’t Rey,” Tico said, turning one over in her hands as others descended on the platter, munching and gossiping.

“They’re too ugly to be Rey’s,” Dameron agreed, taking a bite. Crumbs fell on his shirt, and he looked down at himself to brush them off, missing the brief glare Ben shot his way.

Ben might not be a master of cookie decorating, but his mom had iced some of those. It pissed him off to hear Dameron being so dismissive.

“They taste different,” said Storm, biting into one thoughtfully.

“Store bought?” Connix asked, picking one up.

“No,” said Tico, nibbling hers. “The icing is too lopsided for mass production. These are handmade.”

“Aww!” Connix exclaimed, and Ben shot her a weirded-out look. “That’s so _sweet_.”

Tico smiled. “Someone really wanted Santa cookies, huh?” She shot a sly smile at Dameron. “No reason to be shy, though. You could have asked for the recipe.”

Ben turned back to prepping the slowest cup of coffee he’d ever prepped and frowned at the steaming cup. Tico thought it had been _Dameron_?

He didn’t know why that bothered him so much.

“Wasn’t me,” said Dameron, still munching. “I can’t bake to save my life.”

Ben let out a silent breath, feeling oddly relieved.

Until Dameron called, “Hey, Solo. Was this you?”

Ben shot him a disgusted glare, trying to figure out if Dameron actually knew something. The smirk on the other man’s face, plus Connix’s giggle, made him think that Dameron was just being an asshole.

“Why would anyone bother?” Ben grumbled, dismissing the other man with his usual disdain. “Those things are stupid.”

Tico swelled with anger, straightening to her full height and squaring her shoulders. “Because _some_ people care about their coworkers and want to make other people _happy_. Especially on the holidays.”

Ben picked up his coffee and fixed a perfectly contemptuous look on his face as he turned to leave. “Whatever. If someone wants to waste their free time on that crap, that’s their business.”

This only seemed to piss Tico off worse, because she got in his way and shoved a finger in his chest. “You know, you’re being really ungrateful. Someone spent a couple of _hours_ making these to put a smile on everyone’s face, and you’re belittling their effort, _just_ like you do to Rey every year.” She waved a hand to encompass the room and the office beyond. “No wonder nobody wants to own up to them if they have to deal with _you_ , you… you… _Grinch_!”

Ben had to resist the impulse to smile, amused by her outburst, and murmur, “Bah humbug.” Instead, he sipped his coffee and stepped around her. She wouldn’t understand that he was teasing, and he’d rather not anger her further. She was, after all, Niima’s roommate.

“No wonder everyone hates him,” Tico muttered to the others.

All urge to smile fell away.

* * *

Rey messaged him after lunch.

 **Rey Niima:** Do you know who made the Santa cookies?

 **Benjamin Solo:** Why would I?

 **Rey Niima:** Because you’re literally the only person I talked to about that.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Ah. No, I’m afraid not.

 **Rey Niima:** Okay.

 **Rey Niima:** But if you happen to find out before I do, just… let them know it means a lot to me that they stepped up like that.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Noted.

 **Rey Niima:** And Ben?

 **Benjamin Solo:** Yes?

 **Rey Niima:** I AM going to figure out who did it.

 **Rey Niima:** Fair warning.

Ben stared at Slack and felt his heartbeat pick up, nerves mixing with a pleasant but unrealistic daydream where Rey came back to work and immediately threw herself into his arms.

Which was alarming in its own right. Since when did he daydream about _Niima_?

He cursed himself for being stupid, opened his email, and got back to work. He might be distracted, but he couldn’t get away with doing nothing, so he spent the next few hours working. When he had only an hour left of his workday, he got a new message on Slack.

 **Rey Niima:** Are you wearing an ugly sweater tomorrow?

 **Benjamin Solo:** Why would I do something like that?

 **Rey Niima:** I’ve already got mine picked out.

 **Benjamin Solo:** You’re coming in tomorrow?

 **Rey Niima:** Yep! Pretty sure I’m not contagious anymore, but don’t let me breathe on you. You do NOT want this thing.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Deal.

He worked the last hour and started getting his desk cleaned up. Before he logged off his computer, though, he saw he had an unread message.

 **Rey Niima:** Hey, Ben? Thanks for talking to me these last couple days. It’s made being sick a lot less annoying.

He was sure he wasn’t the only person she’d been messaging, but it was nice of her to make him feel like his conversation mattered. Ben swallowed, then wrote and deleted several replies.

 **Benjamin Solo:** ~~You’re welcome.~~

 **Benjamin Solo:** ~~Of course.~~

 **Benjamin Solo:** ~~I liked talking to you, too.~~

 **Benjamin Solo:** ~~You were right about the soup, it was me.~~

 **Benjamin Solo:** Any time.

 **Rey Niima:** :)

 **Rey Niima:** See you tomorrow.

“See you tomorrow,” he whispered to his monitor. The stupid fluttering in his stomach made him scowl as he logged off.

 

* * *

_Tuesday_

* * *

Ben got into work a few minutes late with his coffee from the shop across the street, and dropped his lunch in the office fridge.

He heard Niima before he saw her. Her laugh rang across the cubicles, and he thought he detected a note of huskiness from her recent illness.

But it might have been his imagination.

He walked toward his desk and saw people surrounding the entrance to Rey’s cubicle, chattering happily in brightly colored sweaters.

 _Ugly_ brightly colored sweaters.

“Don’t you guys have jobs?” he muttered as he squeezed past them to his own cubicle, holding his break room coffee high so he wouldn’t spill it. He had to resist the urge to look over everyone’s heads at Niima.

“I bet it’s Thomas from accounting,” Connix said, continuing some conversation he hadn’t been privy to. “He’s really sweet.”

“I’ve never even talked to Thomas from accounting,” said Niima patiently.

Ben told himself not to turn around. He set his coffee down, shucked his jacket, and logged into his computer instead.

“I bet it’s Solo,” Dameron said with a laugh.

The others laughed, too, as Ben looked back at them, rotating his chair just a bit. He could make out blinking Christmas lights behind the crowd.

“I would ask what you’re talking about,” he told Dameron evenly, “but I’d have to actually care, and I don’t.”

“Rey has a secret admirer,” Connix informed him, as if he’d expressed any interest whatsoever. “Left coffee on her desk from that place across the street.”

“I’m telling you it’s the same person who did the soup and the cookies,” said Storm, and the crowd shifted enough for Ben to get a glimpse of Niima leaning back in her chair with her legs crossed at the knee. She held the cup of coffee that he’d left on her desk that morning before anyone else had arrived.

He stared, all of that taking a back seat to the fact that the blinking Christmas lights were _on her sweater_.

She caught him looking and winked, calling out a cheery, “Good morning!”

“What are you _wearing_?” he asked, aghast.

She looked down at herself and grinned, tugging the hem to straighten out the front. “You like it?”

“It’s hideous.”

Her grin widened. “Thank you!”

Ben rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer, leaving his coworkers to their speculation. They went through several other possible admirers until Rey suggested that maybe it was a friend trying to be nice or even three different people. Connix protested that idea, insisting that the giver’s intentions were romantic.

Ben tried not to snort at that. Even _he_ didn’t know what his intentions were.

He supposed… he just wanted to make her happy.

Rey eventually shooed them all away so she could work, but she didn’t say anything further to Ben. For some reason he’d thought she would, and he felt disappointed that she didn’t.

Then a notification from Slack popped up and made his heart lurch when he saw it was from her.

 **Rey Niima:** You’re wearing a sweater!

 **Benjamin Solo:** I suppose I am.

 **Rey Niima:** Did you wear it for ugly sweater day?

 **Benjamin Solo:** It’s ugly?

 **Rey Niima:** No! No, sorry. It’s a nice sweater. Green is a good color on you.

 **Rey Niima:** I just meant, are you wearing a sweater because it’s sweater day?

 **Benjamin Solo:** It could be that. Or maybe I’m out of clean laundry. Or I might be cold.

 **Rey Niima:** I just never see you in sweaters, is all.

He took a moment to debate with himself and decided this was safe enough territory.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I might have worn it for sweater day, yes.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Don’t tell anyone.

 **Rey Niima:** Your reputation is safe with me. ;)

 **Benjamin Solo:** I appreciate it.

 **Rey Niima:** Hey, you’re usually here early. Did you see who left the coffee?

 **Benjamin Solo:** No.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I only just got here.

 **Rey Niima:** Okay.

They both got to work, and Ben found himself able to concentrate better than he had all week.

* * *

At lunch, Connix judged the ugliest sweater contest, and Ben stayed long enough to see Niima lose to Pava from IT who wore what looked like a sweater made out of a Christmas tree with ornaments and candy canes and red bows all over it. It looked _extremely_ uncomfortable.

 **Benjamin Solo:** You were robbed.

 **Rey Niima:** I know, right?

 **Rey Niima:** Kaydel called mine FUN.

 **Benjamin Solo:** She’s wrong. Your sweater is the most vile thing I’ve ever seen.

He heard her laugh behind him and allowed himself a smile.

Dameron’s chair squeaked. “Care to share the joke?”

“No joke,” Niima replied. “Just lamenting that I didn’t win the ugliest sweater.”

“To be fair,” Dameron said, “you make everything you wear look better.”

Ben was glad he couldn’t see Niima’s face just then.

And that she couldn’t see his.

Ben wasn’t smooth, and his delivery when he tried to tease anyone was too dry. They always took him seriously. And they always thought his compliments were sarcastic.

Everyone except Niima. She always seemed to know the difference. He could see their coworkers chalk it up to her being a friendly person, but Ben knew there was more to it.

She could read him.

 **Rey Niima:** It’s the flashing lights. Makes the whole thing an eyesore. I had to turn it off to get any work done.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Yes, thank you for that. They were reflecting in my screen.

 **Rey Niima:** Oh, sorry! I’ll be more careful about that.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Not a big deal.

It wasn’t. He was just glad to have her back.

In the office. Back in the _office_.

She wasn’t his. She was a coworker. He respected her on a purely professional level.

 _Right,_ his brain mocked. _That’s why you can't stop remembering that one time she crossed her legs in a skirt and you saw almost all the way up to her panties._

 

* * *

_Wednesday_

* * *

“I _knew_ it was you.”

Ben startled. He’d been watching the floor as he carried a coffee and muffin into Rey’s cubicle, so he hadn’t seen her sitting on her desk.

He blinked at her, brain stalling. “Why are you here this early?”

She raised a brow. “I could ask you the same thing.”

The lie came easily to his lips. “I have a project I need to work on.”

“Mhm.” She slipped off her desk and approached, taking the coffee from his numb fingers. She sniffed at it and took a sip. “With a caramel macchiato and a… what is that?” She pointed at the bag.

No point in lying if she could grab it and check for herself. “Chocolate chip muffin.”

“Right. A chocolate chip muffin.”

“They’re mine,” he said, reaching for the coffee, but she pulled it out of his reach.

“You are not a caramel macchiato person,” she informed him simply. “And this is the exact same thing that you left on my desk yesterday.”

Ben’s jaw flexed. “Tastes change.”

“Also, Cal the security guy remembers you coming in early yesterday with a coffee and leaving five minutes later without it. And he remembers you coming in early on Monday with a tray of something, same thing. He does _not_ remember you coming in early last week, but I bet if he checked the security tapes he’d see you with the soup.”

“It could have been anyone.”

She shook her head and set the coffee down on her desk. “He described you. Very precisely.” Ben opened his mouth to argue, but she held up a finger. “And he called just now after you arrived and told me the same guy was on his way up.”

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to find some way out of this and failing. Finally, he sighed. “Don’t tell anyone?”

She crossed her arms. “Stop lying to me.”

He nodded stiffly. “Yeah. Okay.”

Her posture eased a bit, and she reached for the sack with the muffin. “So it was you? Really?”

He looked at her, at what might have been hope in her eyes but was probably wishful thinking on his part, and glanced away. “Yeah.”

“All three times?”

He nodded, examining the edge of her cubicle wall.

“Why don’t you want anyone to know?” Her voice was very gentle when she asked, “Is it because everyone laughed when Poe suggested it was you?”

He shook his head, glancing at her. “No. I can handle Dameron. It just wasn’t important that anyone know. Or the point.”

Her body shifted toward him, voice lowering. “What _was_ the point?”

“You were sick. And sad.” He ducked his head and shrugged. “I wanted to help.”

She took a step forward, eyes locked on his. Ben wanted to look away, to protect himself, but he couldn’t. Something about the way her lips had softened and parted left him spellbound. “Why?”

He frowned, debating the dubious merits of admitting everything.

She took another step forward. “Don't lie to me.”

He took a breath and looked at the sensible carpet under his work shoes. “It's not something I would have done for anyone else. I… you… um.” He trailed off and gritted his teeth. He couldn’t get the words out.

Rey’s warm hand slipped into his, and his eyes flew to hers. “It’s okay. You can tell me. I won’t judge.”

Ben stared at her, his heart racing, chest tight.

He looked away and swallowed, trying to muster enough courage to say anything at all. But Ben wasn’t good with words. He never had been. Like his father, he was far more honest with his actions.

He stepped forward, leaned down, and placed a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth, his body tense with fear. His shoulders hunched as he drew back, and he couldn’t meet her eye.

“Oh,” she whispered, the word full of complex emotions that Ben didn’t know how to untangle. Then, “How long?”

He glanced at her but couldn’t read her expression.

He swallowed. “I’m not sure.” His voice was raspy. He cleared it before adding, “I figured it out while you were sick.”

She looked at him for a long time, like she’d forgotten her hand was still in his, and Ben didn’t move, hoping she forgot about it for a little while more. “You haven’t always been easy to deal with,” she said at length, a little furrow between her brows.

That was a nicer way to put it than he would have chosen. He grimaced and squeezed her fingers, unable to help himself. “It was… a way to interact with you. I think.”

She laughed. “Wow.” Then she smiled up at him with warm exasperation, no trace of anger or resentment in her eyes. She still hadn’t withdrawn her hand, and Ben felt a soft fluttering in his chest, his tense muscles easing just a bit. “Let me take you to lunch today.”

His eyebrows shot up, surprised. “Really?”

She nodded, her smile deepening at the corners and eyes twinkling. “You fed me, let me feed you.”

“I… okay.”

Her smile turned into a full grin, and she squeezed his hand. “Great.”

* * *

 **Rey Niima:** I should be 100% not contagious now, so I’m having some people for dinner tonight. Want to come?

 **Benjamin Solo:** I would like that.

 

* * *

_Thursday_

* * *

**Benjamin Solo:** It seems you’re as good a cook as you are a baker.

 **Rey Niima:** How would you know what my baking is like?

 **Benjamin Solo:** Confession time: I like your muffins.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Whenever you bring them in, I always sneak one. Or two.

 **Rey Niima:** :O

 **Rey Niima:** Turn around.

Ben looked over his shoulder and saw her turned toward him in her chair, making an exaggerated surprised face, her mouth gaping. She pointed at her face to emphasize her shock, then she grinned, her eyes crinkling.

One side of his mouth curled up. He shook his head at her and turned back to his computer.

 

* * *

_Friday_

* * *

**Rey Niima:** Finn has noticed we’re spending time together and is asking questions.

 **Rey Niima:** What do you want me to do if he asks about the soup or coffee or cookies?

 **Benjamin Solo:** If he guesses, you can confirm.

 **Rey Niima:** It’ll get out if he knows.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I’ll live.

* * *

“I was _right_?! It was _you_?!”

Ben swiveled in his chair to face a highly incredulous Poe Dameron, who pointed a finger dramatically at Ben. A few coworkers trailed behind, including Rey who shrugged wryly at him from the back of the small crowd.

Well. That didn't take long.

Ben kept his expression perfectly neutral. He knew what Dameron was talking about because Rey had messaged him with a dramatic "HE KNOWS," but this opportunity to mess with Dameron was too good to pass up. “What was me?”

“You sent Rey all those gifts?”

Ben pretended to mull it over, frowning deeply and even stroking his chin. “Yes,” he said, then promptly swiveled back to his computer, tempted to grin. Rendering Dameron speechless was almost worth the embarrassment of admitting everything in front of the biggest gossips in the office.

“Wait,” Dameron finally said when he got his voice back. “You guys hate each other.”

Ben opened a work document, though all of his attention was on the people behind him. “I never said that.”

“I did,” Rey admitted, an apologetic note to her voice. “Once or twice when I was really annoyed. But I didn’t actually _mean_ it.”

“Of course not. You’re _far_ too forgiving.” Ben tossed a look over his shoulder. He saw that Rey was trying not to laugh, and it made it harder to keep a straight face, especially when combined with the way Dameron gaped between them.

“But you’re such a dick,” Dameron tried again.

Ben shrugged, turning his chair so he didn’t have to strain his neck. “You know how kids push someone they like in the mud? I never really outgrew that.” He glanced casually at his monitor, like the whole conversation was idle chit chat. “Probably why I’ve never had a girlfriend,” he added absently. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have data to collate.”

He heard the crowd murmuring as they dispersed and when it was quiet, he glanced behind himself. Rey wasn’t at her desk. She didn’t return for half an hour, and when she did he tried not to look at her.

He failed, but he at least made the _effort_ not to act completely smitten.

* * *

 **Rey Niima:** You said you’ve never had a girlfriend.

 **Benjamin Solo:** True.

 **Rey Niima:** Do you want one?

 

* * *

_Monday_

* * *

**Rey Niima:** I really liked yesterday. I hope we can do it again soon.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Go to the zoo?

 **Rey Niima:** Well, yes.

 **Rey Niima:** But I meant the kissing.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Oh.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Yes.

 **Benjamin Solo:** That would be nice.

* * *

 **Benjamin Solo:** Have you been making plans with my mother behind my back?

 **Rey Niima:** Oh! Did you not know? She invited me to Christmas Eve.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I have just been informed of this. I was calling to ask if I could invite you.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Frankly, when I introduced you two, I did not realize you’d like each other this much.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Or I’d have put it off a little longer.

 **Rey Niima:** LOL, why is it a bad thing for your mum to like me?

 **Benjamin Solo:** Oh, I knew she’d love you. I just didn’t think it would be quite this mutual.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I like having you to myself.

 **Rey Niima:** We’ve been together all the time lately.

 **Benjamin Solo:** You went to lunch together on Saturday, and I wasn’t invited.

 **Rey Niima:** She wanted to get to know me better!

 **Rey Niima:** Don’t worry, you’re still the only member of your family I make out with.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Great, now that’s in my head. I’ll have to lobotomize myself.

 **Rey Niima:** LOL. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to distract you later. ;)

 **Benjamin Solo:** It might take a lot of effort.

 **Benjamin Solo:** More than usual.

 **Rey Niima:** That can be arranged.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Fuck.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I hate that it’s the middle of the workday.

 **Rey Niima:** ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 

* * *

_Tuesday_

* * *

**Rey Niima:** Poe said we were disgustingly cute today.

 **Rey Niima:** Like, more than normal.

 **Benjamin Solo:** Serves him right.

 **Rey Niima:** LOL, why?

 **Benjamin Solo:** He used to flirt with you. It annoyed me.

 **Rey Niima:** That’s just Poe, though. He flirts with everyone.

 **Benjamin Solo:** I know. But you’re mine now.

 **Rey Niima:** Yeah. I am.

 **Rey Niima:**  God, we really are disgustingly cute.

 **Benjamin Solo:** LOL

 

* * *

_Wednesday_

* * *

**Rey Niima:** You know you don’t have to bring me coffee every morning, right?

 **Benjamin Solo:** If you say so.

 **Rey Niima:** You’re not going to stop, are you?

 **Benjamin Solo:** I am not, no.

 **Rey Niima:** Ugh.

* * *

 **Benjamin Solo:** I can’t come over tonight. I promised to help my mom prep things for Christmas Eve.

 **Rey Niima:** Food prep?

 **Benjamin Solo:** And decorations. She leaves a lot of the higher things for me to do.

 **Rey Niima:** I don’t blame her. She’s super short.

* * *

 **Rey Niima:** I just talked to your mom, and she says I can help prep for Christmas Eve, too! So we’ll still see each other. :)

 **Benjamin Solo:** You don’t have to. It’s quite a bit of work.

 **Benjamin Solo:** And you’re a guest.

 **Rey Niima:** Too late, I already said I would. :P

 **Rey Niima:** Besides, it’ll go faster with more hands.

 **Benjamin Solo:** You’re amazing.

 **Rey Niima:** You’re not so bad, yourself.

* * *

Ben was sweaty and tired when he finished the decorations at his mom’s house, glad he wasn’t also responsible for the outdoor lights. His dad and uncles had already taken care of those, thank God. But his mom still had an unreasonable amount of decorations. He'd helped put up the tree two weeks back, but at least he hadn't had to help decorate it.

He could hear Rey chatting happily with his mother in the kitchen, and he entered to grab a water and let them know he was done.

“We’re almost done, too,” his mom replied with a beaming smile. “Did you know how good of a cook Rey is?”

Rey blushed, but Ben nodded as he uncapped his water. “Of course.” He eyed Rey, who turned an even brighter shade of red and ducked her head. Still, she was smiling. He couldn’t help teasing her. “Atrocious singer, though.”

“Ben!” admonished his mother.

Rey just laughed.

When they left for the night, assuring his mother that they’d be over a little early the next day to help with any last minute details, it was snowing.

Big, fat snowflakes stuck to the driveway and dusted their cars, soft and lovely and blanketing the world in the kind of quiet that only comes around Christmas.

Ben watched Rey with a smile as she tried to catch them on her tongue. She was so cheerful and full of life.

When she grinned at him after catching a snowflake, he caught her wrist and drew her gently in until he could dip his head and kiss her, lingering against her lips and touching his tongue lightly against her snow-chilled one.

The kiss ended, and he whispered, “I love you.”

Rey’s eyes widened a fraction, and then she surged onto her tiptoes and kissed him fiercely. “I love you, too.”

He cupped her face between his hands and kissed her again, tender and thorough. Their breath settled into soft clouds between them. “Merry Christmas, Rey.”

Another kiss, and she pulled back to give him a narrow-eyed examination. “Does this mean you’ll stop making fun of my Santa cookies?”

Ben smiled and held her closer. “Not a chance.”

She rolled her eyes, but he saw the amused twitch of her lips as they walked to their cars, fingers laced.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked when they stopped by her car and just stood looking at each other. Christmas vacation started the next morning, but Ben had already relaxed into it.

“Text me when you get up.”

She lifted onto her toes and he bent, and they shared a final kiss. “Definitely.”

**Author's Note:**

> **  
> [The sweaters.](https://optimisticsprinkles.tumblr.com/post/181819044345/read-it-now-ugly-sweaters-i-was-reading-some)  
>  **


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